Meant To Hurt Me Deep

How did we get here?
I’m hurting and it’s killing me.
My lungs seize when your words cut me.
Grasping for air – choking.
Can’t you see me trying to make us work?
Feels like I can’t be perfect for you.
Must I feel like I’m not tailored for us?
Your love shouldn’t have killed me thus.

I swore making you smile was my place.
My mind was opened to love and trusting in you.
You didn’t have to ask a thing;
All of me was already yours.
Like the sea-shell belongs to the sea;
And how can you say I didn’t feel like yours.
Or did I love a ghost
In my dark, empty corridor.

What do you see when you look at us?
What of my hurting days when you were needed.
Why wouldn’t you love me like it’s meant to feel?
Putting my own pains aside,
Just to be visible in your light.
Oh! How could you say I’m not visible still?
When I’m masquerade in the clothing of your love;
How would you say it feels so torn?

Should I hide my pain when I’m hurting?
Why would loving require me to be super-human?
Would we gather sand in our hands,
And cover our face with it still?
For if you don’t realize I’m fighting to be with you;
Then it’s a battle I already lost – bleed in vain.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so attached;
Or was your loving meant to hurt me deep.

©2011. Phillip E.O. All Rights Reserved. Exclusive.

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